“Why can’t you decide for yourselves what is right? When you are on the way to court with your accuser, try to settle the matter before you get there. Otherwise, your accuser may drag you before the judge, who will hand you over to an officer, who will throw you into prison. And if that happens, you won’t be free again until you have paid the very last penny.”--Luke 12:57-59 (NLT)
No church can do what God called it to do if the people are caught up in conflict. The same goes for your work and your family. Do you know what's crazy about conflict? It usually starts with something insignificant.
Consider the infamous feud between the Hatfields and McCoys. In 12 years it claimed the lives of twelve people: three Hatfields, seven McCoys, and two bystanders. The conflict started over the ownership of a hog. Even though both sides hated each other, I'm sure neither Hatfield nor McCoy believed a hog was worth more than the lives of their children.
Realize that you can be the one who's wrong.
To paraphrase Jesus' words: "On the way to court try to patch things up with the difficult person, because when you stand before an impartial judge, he may decide that you are the one who is wrong." Whenever we disagree with someone, it's only natural to believe that we're in the right. After all, no one would hang on to an opinion that they thought was wrong. It doesn't matter how right you think you may be, realize that you can be the one who's wrong from time to time.
Realize that you can be the one who offers to reconcile.
It isn't easy to "turn the other cheek," but I have found that most people are willing to resolve a conflict and put it in the past regardless of who's at fault. However, there is the occasional difficult person who'd "rather fight than switch." When a Christian brother or sister takes a step toward reconciliation, the other person will usually take a step too.
Realize that you can be the one who doesn't make matters worse!
Hey! If it is you who is the difficult person, then this will be an impossible task! Difficult people think they have to have the last word. Difficult people think they have to return an insult. Are you a difficult person? Be honest. How do you react when someone cuts you off in traffic? Difficult people keep things stirred up much longer than necessary. In last week's reading, Jesus challenged his followers: "You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other" (Mark 9:50b) This means you realize that you can be the one who doesn't make matters worse. You might not be able to make the situation better, but as a follower of Jesus, you certainly don't have to make it worse.
Jesus dealt with difficult people. But in those dealings, he never compromised the truth and he never stopped loving them: "Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34a). It isn't always easy, but it is possible to live in peace.
Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.--Romans 12:17-18
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